I'm a Hypocrite
You know those quizzes that float around the internet - the ones that associate you to a popular figure of some sort? I saw one on Facebook the other day called, “Which Bible Person Are You?”. I'll admit it. I was curious so I took it. One of the questions asked, “Which personality trait repels you the most?”. There were four options: hypocrisy, intolerance, lying, and cowardice. I chose hypocrisy. I hate hypocrites.
Things are a bit complicated at the moment. I’m faced with a series of challenges that have me asking a lot of questions. I’m reevaluating some things. It reminds me of a season I was in about a year and a half ago. To keep a long story short, after an exhausting internal struggle I came to the conclusion that I had become too caught up, too immersed in a tiny portion of what Christian life should be. I felt like there was something missing. There was something more. So I stepped out of the “bubble” to find it.
Formative, yet dangerous. That’s how I would describe the last several months of my life. With guidance from my mentors and a strategic plan to develop various spiritual disciplines, I felt the Holy Spirit open my heart and my mind to gain a greater understanding of what it means to be a Christian. I matured as a Christ follower. The process was and will continue to be difficult though. There were times when I was frustrated. Times when I was worn out. Times when I was angry. Times when I just wanted to call it quits. It was at those moments, however, that God would find a way to remind me of His abundant grace. A reminder. That’s what I need right now. And I think I got one.
When I finished the quiz the result I got was Peter. I can’t help but smile in amazement at all the ways that God speaks. We know Peter as one of Jesus’ most passionate and excited disciples. This was the man who leaped out of a boat to walk on water with Jesus. The man who recognized Jesus as the Messiah and whose confession would be the rock that the Church would be built upon. The man who would go on to boldly proclaim the gospel and see thousands saved. Such amazing things done by the same man who denied knowing Christ not once or even twice, but three times. Yet, as we see written in John’s account of the gospel, Jesus, so full of grace, redeemed all three of Peter’s denials and charged Peter to care for the Church and follow Him. Peter was a hypocrite, but he was a hypocrite covered by grace.
I hate hypocrites, but I am a hypocrite. I’m a hypocrite when it comes to trusting God. You see, trust requires something. Trust requires surrender. It demands the relinquishing of your hopes, dreams, wants, and needs as well as the fears of not attaining them. Trusting God means letting go of human reason and logic and releasing your entire life and it’s purpose to God. That’s tough. It’s easier said than done, but here’s the thing - I’m not doing it alone. Yes, I’m a hypocrite, but I’m a hypocrite covered by grace.